Funny Jokes

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a whorehouse outside Vegas.
He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $1000 and says:
- I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich !
The Madam is astonished :
- But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal.
The trucker replies :
- Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm homesick.

A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his latest crime.
After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape.
His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news.
Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little travelled routes, running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of.
Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell.
His wife opened the door and bellowed at him :
- You good-for-nothing bum! Where the hell have ya been ? You escaped over six hours ago.
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